Today is tough... I ventured out of the house today to run some errands, but I had a hard time focusing on the simplest of tasks. Tears were my constant companion as I drove from place to place trying to accomplish what I'd set out to do. I keep telling myself it's okay to feel this way...my son died only 4 days ago. 4 DAYS... not long ago...but yet, it's an eternity with empty arms. Oh, how I miss my little boy so much.
It's said that, "Time heals all wounds.", but I wonder if that applies to me too. How does one heal from a loss so great? It doesn't seem possible...but then, again, it's only been 4 days.
I woke up in the middle of the night...something I've done every night since coming home from the hospital... the weight of despair bearing down on my chest...so unbearable. I kept rocking back and forth crying out for my son. And the silence was deafening.
I thought today would be the day I finally shared stories of Christian's amazing birth...but it will have to wait another day. Perhaps tomorrow I'll find the words...