We just left the funeral home... We dressed Christian in his little outfit for his memorial service and spent some wonderful time kissing him and telling him that we love him. He looks so peaceful...like he's slumbering away unhindered by the many tubes and bandages that used to cover his tiny little body. I sat there admiring his beautiful features and I thanked God for our many, many blessings. I thanked Him for allowing Ryan and I to spend such great quality time with our son on Thursday and I asked Him for grace to deal with our loss and strength to cope with our broken hearts. I am truly shattered. But I am so joyful for the precious moments I've shared with my son.
If I had this journey to travel all over again, I would gladly make the same decisions...even amidst all the heartache and emptiness I am feeling. I love my son...I've loved every second I got to spend with him...beginning from the first moment I knew he was growing inside my belly.
I want to shout out loud and tell the world my son wasn't "Incompatible with Life"... He was, He is, and He will forever be...."Full of LIFE"... His life mattered.
I am posting several pictures of our boy...because I want to share with you all the little things we love about him. The words will come later....but I want you to know my son...now.
If I had this journey to travel all over again, I would gladly make the same decisions...even amidst all the heartache and emptiness I am feeling. I love my son...I've loved every second I got to spend with him...beginning from the first moment I knew he was growing inside my belly.
I want to shout out loud and tell the world my son wasn't "Incompatible with Life"... He was, He is, and He will forever be...."Full of LIFE"... His life mattered.
I am posting several pictures of our boy...because I want to share with you all the little things we love about him. The words will come later....but I want you to know my son...now.
These were pictures taken by Heather Donlan of Heather Donlan Photography...our angel who is affiliated with Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. God Bless her and her work... I hope they bring you as much joy as they do us.
I love you all,
Love, Leah
31 comments:
Just beautiful.....and your words left me speechless!!!!
Thanks for sharing your memories; I may not know you in person, but I know you in spirit and am praying for all of you!!
Dearest Leah - thank you so much for letting us glimpse into Christian's heart. These pictures were so beautiful. Thank you for sharing them with us. I cannot imagine what you're going through. You have our continued prayers.
Your son is one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. The love you have for him is so very evident. Thank you for sharing your journey. God will grant you the grace that you ask of him.
We have been touched by your family and will continue to lift you up in prayer.
That last picture is so so darling. What an amazing, and super cute little boy!
Leah
Your comment of a "picture worth a thousand words". so profound and so beautiful! Your son is a beautiful little boy! What adorable little feet! I know this time is so mixed with happiness, fear, profound sadness, and loss. I can't imagine your depth of pain right now. I know the loss of a child taken far too soon, it is like a coat that I must wear now in life. Most days I can wear it proudly, but there is always sorrow when another family get the coat to wear.
Your son, is such an ispiration to all of us, as are you and Ryan. Thank you so much for sharing your precious membories.
Penny
Christian is with Jesus, in His arms now. No more pain and suffering.
Ya'll are in my prayers.
Leah & Ryan-
Beautiful, amazing... wonderful pictures. They absolutely take my breath away. You all look so full of joy and peace. I know the moments that you have spent with him will live on forever in your minds... but it is so fantastic to have these pictures to look back on and see the true joy and love pouring out of you and filling little Christian with sweet, perfect moments here on Earth. I know your hearts ache terribly, but I continue to pray that through these difficult times the God of all Creation will fill your minds with peace, love, joy and protection.
So much love and continued prayers!
Kenzie
Your love for your son showed in the looks in your eyes. May God give you strength for your days and peace for the nights. Praying for you. Thank you for sharing your beautiful time with your son.
He is such a precious boy.
I am praying for you.
Leah and Ryan, Rick and I are totally amazed and awed at your wonderful little boy and how you two made the choice to bring him into the world with all the love and compassion that every child should have. You two are awesome. May God give you the strength to get through these trying times. May He bless you beyond our understanding of His plan for you two and Christian. Please know that all our prayers and wishes of compassion are with you now and always. Remember, if God brought you to it, He will get you through it. All our love, Debbi and Rick Sweigart
Ryan and Leah, I wanted to call but I do not know what to say except we love you both and our thoughts and prayers are with you!
I believe the journey you both have taken was meant to be and the picture of you both and Christian is amazing!
You both are blessed to have had the time you did and no one can ever take those memories away!
Bob & Kathy
Dear Leah and Ryan,
These pictures of your family of 3 are just breathtaking and precious. The love in each one is just beautiful. Christian is such a beautiful little boy and I know that he felt every minute of your love for him. He WAS compatible with life and gave you his best. He touched my life and I know his little footprints are all over your broken hearts. May the Lord carry you gently in the days and weeks ahead as you rely on Him for His grace and comfort. I am so sorry for the hurt you are having to bear. My prayers will continue for you.
Love and Hugs, Laurie in Ca.
Leah,
Christian is beautiful, just breathtaking. I think the "incompatible with life" is something that angers all of us. You were given this child to choose life for him and you did it and he is precious, and has been made perfect. Christian Dale Paige has accomplished more in his sweet little life than most will in a lifetime. I will shout praises to Jesus for your sweet son and what he has accomplished! I will continue to lift you guys up in prayer to our sweet Savior.
Keep fighting the good fight!
In Him,
Kim
God always chooses life. Sometimes it is not as we imagined, but today Christian lives on with the One who so beautifully wove him. Your testimony, Christian's testimony, will touch many. Perhaps they too will choose life!
You don't know me, but you touched my heart with your words and those beautiful pictures of sweet Christian. Many prayers for you
You are a wonderful blessing. God knew that you would be the perfect parents for Christian. He too knows what it is like to lose His Son, and He is holding your hands. Thank you for your journey. -A touched heart in Michigan
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story and wonderful pictures of your baby boy. I can't imagine the pain you must be going through right now yet you still remain thankful....what a testament!!
Dear Leah and Ryan,
I've visited your page 5 times already this evening to look at your beautiful son and your beautiful family. God Bless "Now I lay me down to sleep" for capturing the essence of your joy and love for Christian during the time that you were blessed with his perfect life here on earth. I know that as your broken hearts ache, these gorgeous portraits of your sweet family of three will be such a source of comfort.
Thank you so much for sharing your brave and beautiful journey, and thank you for sharing your darling angel son.
Love,
Christena
I am so filled with sorrow for you... you had 5 precious days but I had hoped you would have so many more. Thank you for sharing these very personal pictures with me, Christian is just a darling baby and looks just perfect. His toes are beautiful, and I love that all your pictures convey such a peaceful feeling... Praying for you and your family....
N. Palhinha
Thank you so much for sharing your precious little boy with all of us. When I look at his sweet finger grasping yours and his tiny little toes I can't help but think of our Creator who formed him. Who chose the two of you to be his parents! Christian is so blessed to have a mommy and daddy who adore him and who chose to give him life! I'm sure your grief is completely overwhelming, but I'm hoping that you can feel the prayers of hundreds of strangers sustaining you through all of this. I'm praying!
Leah, I am so happy to be able to see the breathtaking photos of your perfect family, and am so happy that you learned of Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep in time for this talented photographer to capture those moments for you to share with us, and to always have.
I also want to echo your denial of the "incompatible with life" label. Kim is right; we all hate that phrase. Christian lived his full live here on Earth, just as surely as he is now in heaven, and everything about him is a celebration of the life his Maker breathed into him. He is just beautiful, and I am praising God for the time He gave you to hold Christian and breathe in his smell, to kiss him, and to see just how perfect he is. That can never be taken away from you.
I am here if you ever want to talk.
love, connie
The family pictures you have posted are just beautiful. Christian is a beautiful little boy and my heart breaks for your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I have been drawn to your blog so many times over the last several days. Your family looks amazing. What a beautiful baby! I can't imagine the grief you are feeling right now. I will be praying for you as you rest in the loving arms of our Lord.
Nothing but tears, such priceless photos. Your son is truly beautiful.
Your son had weight in this world, and his life DID matter.
The pictures of your sweet boy are so precious and will be a constant reminder of the time you had with him.
Thanks for sharing.
So precious, thanks for letting uis glimpse into your world with your little boy that God gave you.
God bless, Pat
Ryan and Leah, I cannot begin to imagine your pain. Thank you for sharing the beautiful pictures. I wanted to add some words, Perfet Feet, Perfect Family, Chosen Father and Son, Chosen Mommy and precious son, Family of Three, and Perfection In all ITs Glory! Sometime I wonder what can come of Annabel life, and sometimes I think most if what can we do to change this terrible meaning that is given to us "incompatible with Life". You are right, Christian life was purposeful and touched so many. Will continue to pray for you, Perfect Family of Three!
Dear Leah and Ryan, Thanks so much for sharing these pictures of you and your beautiful son! My heart goes out to both of you and your family, and I am praying for our dear Heavenly Father's comfort and healing.
With love,
Marla
My heart is full of love for the three of you. I know God is holding your close in His hands and you will never, ever be separated. Christian is beautiful. I believe he will continue to touch many lives for God.
Thank you for sharing your photos. What a beautiful little boy...you are so luck to have had 4 days with him. I can tell you from experience it does get easier and you will treasure the days you had with Christian.
Nancy - Mama to Chloe (T-18 taken way too soon but in a better place now) and Annika and Paige - 5 year old twins.
What a beautiful little boy - those pictures of your family are amazing!
As a mother, I cannot fully grasp how much you are hurting right now; please know though, that my heart hurts SO MUCH for yours.
I'm so sorry that you no longer have your son with you on this side of Heaven....
Thank you for sharing your sweet son Christian with us.
May God's blessings pour forth over you both.
With lots of love,
Beth - Michigan
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