May 12, 2008

Letters to Christian

Dear Son,

It's morning and I'm working on my daily routine... juice, vitamins, and now breakfast. I have a cranberry/blueberry muffin perched on my belly as I'm writing. I'm sorry you didn't get your usual cinnamon Pop-Tart this morning... it's your father's fault really. It's always a mad dash to see who gets the last one in the box...And well, as you already're having a muffin. I promise, I'll work on that.

I do have to thank you ....having a portable table where ever I go has been pretty convenient. Although it's a bit frustrating not being able to see my seems I stub my toes pretty often these days. Another something I'll have to work on..

It's been a few days since I published the beginning of your story...I hope you will be proud of me. It was pretty tough getting through some of the events that have already taken place, but in all honesty, I feel much better. I know you've felt my sadness and I'm sorry for that, Son. I'm trying to get better for you. I promise, there will only be lots of smiles, hugs, and kisses on your birthday. I can't wait!

Have I told you lately that I think you're an amazing little boy?? I love you so much. Even though I'm your mom and I'm carrying you in my belly, I think it's you who is really carrying the load. Just knowing you're there happily floating around in your little water bath makes me want to get out of bed in morning. When I don't feel like's you who reminds me that I have to make decisions for the both of us... You make me laugh every time I feel you kick... and you made your father's day on Saturday when he felt you kick for the very first time... You are already so strong... and I am so proud of you.

You are also changing lives... Your Papa, Auntie Jahna, Cody and Ricci gave blood on your behalf last Thursday. Your daddy set a record as he was finished giving blood in just over 10 minutes... I think it's because he has such a Big Heart. Also, it was a HUGE milestone for the Cameron see, Son, it was the FIRST time any of them had ever given blood. And it was because of you! You are already responsible for helping to save lives... No mother could ever be more proud. I love you.

Finally, in case you were wondering what all the ruckus was about the other night... Your father was trying to read, "Horton Hears a Who", to you and I couldn't stop laughing. The book reminds us that, 'A person's a person. No matter how small!" We just LOVE that message.

Your friends have dropped off several Dr. Suess books for us to read to you...You are such a lucky boy! Already Loved by so many! Unfortunately, your dad and I are out of practice reading these types of books and we stumble over the words to the point of giggles. He almost gave up and started trying to explain how to build a car engine to you instead...but I made him charge on.

We're doing our best, Son... and I promise we will only get better with more practice...

Well, that's all for now... I just want to tell you, I love you. Keep kicking and letting me know you are there... It's truly the bright spot in my day.

Love, Mom...

1 comment:

rachel toller said...

Leah, Ryan & Christian my prayers are with you as your journey continues.
As parents, i cannot imagine the pain and anxiety you have experienced on a daily basis. My heart goes out to you both and i hope and pray that your precious son gives you "his proud parents" emense pleasure and joy when his birthday arrives.
With love Rachel (Beth's sister)