True friends...

True friends are not hard to find...they are there just because...

You see, our boy was scheduled to be born on the 22nd...try telling that to Christian. Our little guy couldn't wait. A storm was coming and it wasn't Faye it was Christian. He was born a week early...the night before Tropical Storm Faye was due to hit Naples...there was no time to prepare for the storm. We had just moved our ornamental metal business back into the garage...what a mess! I had 1hr to throw all the lawn furniture, planters, trash cans, and miscellaneous items in the garage too...more of a mess.

Between spending precious time with my son and now planning his memorial service... There has been no time to get our lives back together...until Christian's many "uncles" from North Naples Fire Rescue came to our rescue. Our lawn was mowed on Friday before we got home...and today, in what would have taken me all week to complete, our garage was boxed, packed, and stowed in 45 minutes...ready to be a functional garage again. God bless true friends.

Thanks so much to my brothers at North Naples Fire Rescue,

Ryan

Quiet Reflection

Today, I spent some time in Christian's room quietly reflecting on how much my world has changed in such a short period of time. As I looked into his bassinet, I felt loss so heavy that, at times, it was difficult to breathe. I miss my son... my precious, precious boy who gave me so much joy during the few days we were blessed to be with him.

As I looked around his room, I was comforted by all the things that belonged to him... and I whispered softly telling him I love him. I truly feel his presence with me and it's a bittersweet feeling... pain and joy... hardly two emotions that should go hand in hand....but in my world, they will forever be linked.

Fierce pride welled up inside me as I went through his little box of belongings... clothes he wore at the hospital, little stuffed animals that kept vigil in his crib, his "binkie", and yes...even the plastic medical I.D. bracelet he wore...letting the world know that I was his mom.... All these things belonged to Christian... Everything smelled like him... What joy to remember what he smelled like as I snuggled him close to me.

It's hard to describe...but having these precious few belongings of Christian's meant that he truly had weight in this world... He was already accumulating "stuff"... My little boy was HERE... He had a birthday and he overcame monumental odds just by being being born. I am so proud of him! He was a little fighter... so much determination!

Ryan and I say he was so strong for us... he wanted to be with us just as much as we wanted to be with him. I could definitely see it in his eyes on the day he died. There was so much clarity and understanding in the way he stared at us... I can only believe it was God working through him to help us in that dark moment.

My heart is broken and my tears seem never to dry on my cheeks... but I still rejoice because I had an amazing little boy and I am a mom! Regardless of how many tears I shed for the loss of my son, I will always feel gratitude for having been allowed to meet him and spend time with him... I had a miracle!

As I closed the door to his room... I felt a renewed strength to do the things which are most difficult these days... I worked on his memorial... I wrote his obituary... these things are difficult to comprehend... but it's my life these days... and the trade off was so worth it. I had my son.

It's hard.... I'm hurting... but I'll deal with it ... I know. With God's grace and amazing friends... I'll heal...we will all heal.

Love,

Leah

My Dear Angel Christian,

Grandma Mina loves you soooooo!

I wanted to spoil and play with you and tell you stories about your daddy.
I was blessed to be there when you were born and share your mommy and daddy's Joy!! My heart is bleeding for them now they are without you.

I know you are in good 'God' hands and I will take care of your parents but know their faith, courage and love are so strong it makes me proud and humbled.

God blessed us with so much more than we expected.....4 days and 3 hours!!
And such a handsome boy, too.

You have touched so many lives for such a little guy. We will miss you dearly.

Forever with Christ.

Loving you always, Grandma Mina

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words....

We just left the funeral home... We dressed Christian in his little outfit for his memorial service and spent some wonderful time kissing him and telling him that we love him. He looks so peaceful...like he's slumbering away unhindered by the many tubes and bandages that used to cover his tiny little body. I sat there admiring his beautiful features and I thanked God for our many, many blessings. I thanked Him for allowing Ryan and I to spend such great quality time with our son on Thursday and I asked Him for grace to deal with our loss and strength to cope with our broken hearts. I am truly shattered. But I am so joyful for the precious moments I've shared with my son.

If I had this journey to travel all over again, I would gladly make the same decisions...even amidst all the heartache and emptiness I am feeling. I love my son...I've loved every second I got to spend with him...beginning from the first moment I knew he was growing inside my belly.

I want to shout out loud and tell the world my son wasn't "Incompatible with Life"... He was, He is, and He will forever be...."Full of LIFE"... His life mattered.

I am posting several pictures of our boy...because I want to share with you all the little things we love about him. The words will come later....but I want you to know my son...now.

These were pictures taken by Heather Donlan of Heather Donlan Photography...our angel who is affiliated with Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. God Bless her and her work... I hope they bring you as much joy as they do us.

I love you all,

Love, Leah

A Celebration of Christian's Life

Dear Friends,


Thank you all so much for the many prayers and words of comfort we have received these past several days. I have so much to share with you regarding Christian's birthday, the precious few days we were able to share with him, and the final day of his life. We have amazing memories and stories and I am anxious to share with you the life of my beautiful boy.

And, although my heart is broken and my spirit is shattered...for now, I must focus on what we, as parents, must do for our beloved son.

We invite you to celebrate the life of Christian Dale Paige on Saturday, August 30th, at 12:00 p.m. (Eastern Time)

A memorial service will be held at the Fuller Funeral Home located at:

Fuller Funeral Home

1625 Pine Ridge Road

Naples, Florida 34109

In lieu of flowers, Ryan and I ask that donations be made to The Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation (NILMDTS). As I mentioned in an earlier post, this organization helps families like mine preserve the memories of our beloved children through photography. The entire network of affiliated photographers graciously donate their time and talents to our families and offer their services at no cost.

"The Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Foundation is there for parents and families to help aid them in their Healing, bring Hope to their future, and Honor to their child. It is through rememberance that a family can begin to heal."

You can make donations online at http://www.nilmdts.com/ or mail them to:

The Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Foundation

7800 S. Elati Street, #111

Littleton, CO., 80120

Please reference Christian Dale Paige on your check or online donation.

If you would like to send a card or letter , please send it to:

Ryan and Leah Paige

830 93rd Avenue North

Naples, FL 34108

We treasure every note, card, and letter we receive.

Most importantly, please continue to lift up prayers for our family- for strength, comfort, peace and understanding in the difficult days ahead.

This is to Christian’s Mom & Dad….

Please first know that as a health care provider I have never done this in my 30 PLUS years of practice NOR have I ever been touched in the way you 3 have touched me today………..YOU all are more of an inspiration then you can EVER imagine………Leah, YOUR smile has burned a whole in my heart……..Ryan your compassion and the way you looked at your son’s MOM will forever be a part of my soul………….Christian, YOU are amazing…….YOUR cry immediately at birth was MUSIC to my ears and your mom yelled out….”that’s my son”………”he’s crying”………………YOU ARE SO LOVED……..

I am Michelle the Respiratory Therapist who had the honor of being a part of your son’s birthday…….HE IS BEAUTIFUL………….
At times our jobs become very routine…………..TODAY YOUR family reminded me once again why we do what we do…………..

Tonight I pray for all of you and your extended families…………Christian is an amazing little boy……….I know God has a BIG plan for him…..and HE Gave Christian an extraordinary set of parents to help him accomplish his job here on earth……………

God Bless you all,
Michelle

Precious Pictures

Christian is with Jesus

Our son has passed on to be with Jesus. On Friday morning as we were planning on taking him home and he had an episode where his mind couldn't tell his body to breath. He is such a fighter that he had around 8 episodes throughout the day as Leah and I held him. At 8:00 pm our son went to sleep and Jesus came down and carried is soul to heaven. We were so blessed with the time that we had with him. He was a perfect little man.

Our little man has touched so many hearts and has taught us all how powerful love can be and how time is such a precious gift. We will cherish every minute spent with him until we go ourselves to be with the Lord.

Thank you everyone for your prayers, visits, and gifts. We truly couldn't have walked this path without your help. God has given us strength and comfort knowing Christian will be whole again in his arms.


We are going to have a memorial service for Christian and we will post the time and place on our next post.

Thank you all again and God bless,

Ryan and Leah

Thank you Lord!!!

Our prayers have be answered...our boy is alive and we have been given more than an hour with him...as a matter of fact it's been three days and it looks like we will be able to take him home.







We can't thank you all enough for the prayers and well wishes. We have before us the miracle of prayer. Thank you Lord for listening to our prayers. We have truly been blessed.

Please excuse our delay in posts...the hospital internet won't let us access our blog editor. We plan on being home on Thrusday or Friday.

God bless, Love Ryan, Leah, and Christian