Tomorrow is my birthday. Ryan and I haven't spoken to each other since Saturday... we are oceans apart because of things said and left unsaid since Christian's death. We are the best of friends and have been through a lot together. We giggled like children when we found out we were pregnant. We cried tears of joy the moment our son was born and we wept bitterly in each other's arms as our child took his last breath.
We've been through so much... How can we come this far and not be able to talk to each other? There are so many things I don't understand.
I know everyone grieves differently... I've heard it a thousand times already. How can anyone prepare for loss so great? Our son died. My voice falters and my eyes fill up with tears when I say those words out loud. But must my relationship suffer because my grief is different than Ryan's?
I can't tell you what is wrong. I honestly don't know. And I don't know how to fix it.
I know many of you have been praying for me and my family. God hears our prayers. I pray for healing...my heart is broken.
My wish for tomorrow is for Ryan and I to speak like the friends we used to be...can still be. Pray with me my friends...